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Taunet Nelel means 'New Beginning.' This blog is about finding purpose and living in purpose. It seeks to inspire hope and help you live a fulfilling life. One with "No Regrets, No Fear, No Shame and No Anger."
Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts

Moving towards "What Moves You"

Friday, August 31

What Moves You?

We move out of old houses, old neighborhoods, old territories and move into new houses, new neighborhoods, and new territories time after time. Change is inevitable. We don't like change and sometimes we don't anticipate it. We fight change most times. Others move into new relationships, implement new business ideas and form new alliances.

  Anatole France said it better:

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. 

The word move has various meanings, we shall focus on just these two:
  • Take action
  • Provoke a strong feeling, esp. of sorrow or sympathy, anger

Anybody can either be frustrated or fascinated by what they see in their daily lives; only a few take action or are provoked to compassion. Mostly compassion ultimately compels one into taking action.

  • How to be moved

A 'seeing eye' will sometimes not see, and a 'hearing ear' does not always hear.

To see, or hear -- you must feel after you see and again listen to what you hear.

Many people walk past beggars on the street daily without as much as a look. I am guilty of that a number of times. Only a few notice the despair on their faces, even fewer care to ask why they are on the streets, and only a select few decide to buy them a decent meal.

Is it the loss of hope, the orphans, the abortions, poverty of the mind, poor living conditions, wasted resources, the lack of morals, youth wasting their lives, disintegrating family values, faulty leadership, propaganda in the media... what cry captures your listening ear, what situation gets you really angry and provokes you to action?

  • How to move towards what moves you

It is not about you
You being born was not the grandest event on earth. It is what you do for others that makes your life really count.

Forget yourself

No one who is selfish ever went out of his way to help others. You have to be selfless. Think about others more than you do about yourself.

What do you have in your hand?

Start with what is in your hand. You don't need millions of money to give a smile or to speak out against the ills in the society.

Is there any building that starts with the roof being put up first? You start with the foundation and gradually add the supports.

For anything to succeed, you start small; not big. Mother Theresa believed that sometimes we feel what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.

Most times we see the vast ocean, we don't remember the drops of water that make up the ocean. Just as there are no small drops, no contribution is small. Start with what you have and grow from there.

You might fail

The key word here is might. Until you start, you will not know if the probability has a chance to materialize. When you do fail, it will be after you have started and that will not be a failure. Choose to fail forward and pick up the lessons as you go.

Don't listen to dissenting voices

"You can't." "Others have tried and failed."

When dissenting voices speak against you, ask yourself two questions

  • Do they feel as strongly as you do?
  • Have any of them taken action yet?

Most times people criticize what they don't understand.

Learn from others

There are those who have tried and failed forward. Borrow their wisdom. Connect with them through books, seminars, one on one. Do whatever it takes to learn the rules of the trade and then follow them.

Leo Tolstoy said
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
The truth is moving has an action-reaction effect. The decision to move will require you to stretch - the change to be effected without must start from within - and it is a process. A process of forming a character able to effect the change you desire.

If you don't yet know what moves you, you owe it to yourself to make it a lifelong pursuit, until you do. You won't come up empty.

If you know what moves you, then start moving towards what moves you.

If you have already started moving, keep moving and share your insights with others.

Do you know what moves you? How else can we move "towards what moves us." Please share your views in the comment section below.

photo credit: NazareneMissionsInternational via photo pin cc

Mark 8
New Living Translation (NLT)
18 ‘You have eyes—can’t you see? You have ears—can’t you hear?’

Success is a journey, not a destination - Part 2

Wednesday, March 28

Success is more the process and not the end - product. No one arrives at a destination called success.

Success is really defined as the steps we take towards what we envision.



Why is it a process? If you attain a goal you had set, e.g. to read a book every 3 months; does that mean you are successful and that's the end of the quest? No, you were successful at attaining that particular goal. Along the way you may come to the realization that you need to apply the concepts you are learning, that is another goal. Hence, success is ongoing.

Success therefore takes time, it does not involve a "microwave solution", allow the process to have time and space for growth.

You define success in your own way. To define success you have to define it yourself. What would make you feel successful would not necessarily make another feel successfully.

You will also keep redefining success after every step.

Success is personal first, but it will impact many along the way. It will touch lives in ways more than one.

Remember : It starts with victory over self

Let's answer the questions in Part 1 of this post.

Desire

What drives you?

Your existence is evidence that this generation needs something that your life contains. You were created to solve a problem. Everything you have gone through in life, whether a high point or failure, has it's purpose in your life. What lessons did you learn from these experiences?

Remember : Too many people pitch camp at failure when it should just be a warning sign over what not to do!

If you had to think of life after your demise, which is a surety, how can you paint it? Would people notice that a gap has been left and needs to be filled? Or will it be a case of "Gone and forgotten"?

The drive is what will keep you, after everything is gone and nothing is left. If you leave with something today, ask yourself - what drives you?


Direction

Where are you now? Where do you want to go? How will you get there? Are you headed in the right direction?

You must have a sense of direction.

Where you are now denotes your current "location". What are your attitudes? What are your beliefs? Do they link to your expectations?

You're expectations have to line up with your attitudes and beliefs. You constantly have to work to change your attitudes and beliefs. What influences these two are your thoughts, and you can change your thoughts. Look at the input of the thoughts that you allow to enter your mind - who are your closest friends, what environment do you live in and how do you spend your free time?

Remember : Garbage in, Garbage out
Where you want to go, denotes your desired "destination". Does it seem too far off, if it does then get to work.

Determine how you will get there :

Setting SMARTER goals is what will distinguish the dreamers from the accomplishers.

A dreamer says "I want to be a good communicator". (This person may keep changing their words as its suits them, it is not SMARTER)

An accomplisher says "I want to be a good listener to my partner in Marriage before May 31st on our Wedding Anniversary. I will strive to let them finish sentences on their own and I will not interrupt them while they are speaking. I will maintain eye contact at all times and ensure that I ask reflective questions such as 'So are you saying you need a bit of help with the laundry tomorrow' just to make sure I understood what they were communicating."

To set goals such as the accomplisher did they have to be :

S  : Specific- Be very specific
M : Measurable- Can you analyze progress?
A  : Attainable- Can you attain it?
R  : Realistic- Be real with yourself
T   : Time - Bound- Have a time frame.
E  : Exciting- They must hold an element of excitement and thrill for you
R  : Recorded- Write down your goals.


Dedication

This is how willing you are to pay the price for the success you seek. Sometimes, you will have to be mean with yourself, sometimes you'll endure pain to get what you seek, you will have to leave behind friends you thought were for life, you will have to expand your horizons, work more than you have ever worked, give time for your goals to work, adjust if need be and not to give up.

Remember : No one will push you.
Here you are on your own, change tact (gears) when you need to, look back only to derive lessons and push forward.


Discipline 

This is what will help you push forward. Realize that you are 99% responsible for the outcomes in your life. 1% is credited to excusiolitis - a disease where the sufferer makes excuses for their behavior.

Start taking responsibility. Instead of saying "It wasn't me" start saying "I was wrong". Trust me, it's easier than it sounds, just try it.

Remember : You can't lie to yourself.

Stop complaining about people and your circumstances. The economy has nothing to do with your success. You make it your business when you always talking about it. Stop talking and start acting.

Stop blaming other people and your circumstances. You realize when you are pointing a finger, all the other fingers are pointing at you.

Start small, think big BUT start now. They do say, "A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step." Take that step now, if you will always procrastinate, the best time you are waiting for will never come.

READ the Excerpt below NOW:

When I Become a Big Boy
This is like the little boy who says when I become a big boy, I will do this and this and I will be happy. And when he becomes a big boy he says, when I finish college and do this and this and I will be happy. And when he finishes college he says when I get my first job and do this and this I will be happy. And when he gets his first job he says when I get married and do this and this and then I will be happy. And when he gets married he says when the kids get out of school and I do this and this I will be I happy. And when the kids get out of school, he says when I retire and do this and this, I will be happy. And when he retires what does he see? He sees life has just gone by in front of his eyes. 
(Adapted from You Can Win (1998), Shiv Khera)

You are the driver of your life, are you ready to take charge. Then start NOW.

What lessons can you share from your journey?

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Success is a journey, not a destination - Part 1

Tuesday, March 20

Have you ever thought about the intricacies of taking a journey? Well, I am sure you have journeyed at least once in life - whether by road, rail, water or air. I am also certain you have your reservations about the mode of transport. Maybe you have had a bad experience on the road, as a result you are fearful on the road. Maybe on your first time in a boat, thrilled as you were, the winds were so great - the boat unfortunately capsized. That was your first and last time in a boat until today. Back to the question - journey of life - let's imagine for the purpose of this post - that you are sitting at the driver seat, you are the captain of the ship or plane - that in your life you are the driver as well as the passenger.

We will attempt to derive the lessons from your journey of life.

Who is the driver?


Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In a car, there is just one driver, one person who controls the vehicle. Maybe there is a car that has two steering wheels, I don't know. Conventionally, there is normally one steering wheel, one break, one accelerator, one gear and one driver's seat.

In the journey of your life who steers the wheel, determines when you have to make an emergency brake, accelerates or decelerates and determines which gear is in force - is a question we must ask soberly?

In Kenya, we have a public transport mechanism popularly branded as a 'matatu' - a 14-seater vehicle with a driver and a conductor who collects the fare due to them and ensures that you alight at your designated stop.

 I've never known conductor is a valid English word. Had to cross-check its meaning : 


conductor :  a collector of fares in a public conveyance


Most times than not matatus are the only form of transport available to the general populous.

In the rush to reach a certain amount of gains per day, matatus are driven recklessly on the road. Most who notice this, are other drivers who don't understand the rush, avid passengers may be unsatisfied but because of the hurry they are in, they may let the offenses slide as long as they make it early to their destination. The careful passengers wish they were in control of the vehicle to drive better.

I have gone at great length to illustrate something. If you are in a badly driven vehicle, don't you wish you were the driver and you would do things better and be more safe-conscious. I wish I could give the reckless drivers my two cents of advice, to just slow down and think of the passengers they are entrusted with. If the vehicle were to be involved in a bad crash, wouldn't everyone be in danger and not just the driver. It is sad but most times, people rarely think about the consequences of their actions before engaging in wrong behavior.


M - Pics / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


To link this back to our post. You are the driver of your life. You are the passenger in the car of your life as well. It might sound paradoxical, but lets ask critically. Ultimately, who gets most hurt when you are driving the car of your life recklessly? Who is it that is hurt more? Even if you had other passengers as well, their safety is upon your hands. Drive well, and they will arrive well.

Driving badly in your life may manifest differently. You know yourself better, some things to look out for on the road of your life are : -

  • Are you driving your car, or have you delegated that task (willingly or unwillingly)?  
  • Are you on the right road? 
  • Do you know where you are going?  
  • Do you even know where you are? 
  • Are you headed in the right direction? 
  • Are you driving too fast you are not checking the signs on the road? 
  • Is the fuel in your car empty or is it just enough to get you to the destination? 
  • Have you stopped to ask for directions? Maybe you're lost, that is why the journey is taking longer than expected. 
  • Where are the potholes on the road? To avoid them you need to know where they are.
  • Are you complaining and blaming other drivers for your mistakes?
  • Have you forgotten who is turning the steering wheel? 
These are just a few analogies in the road of your life. Hopefully you have been able to answer the question "who is the driver in the road of your life?"

I would love to read your insights on this post. Who holds the keys, who is the driver in the road of your life?


Born To Exist? Is There More To Life?

Monday, February 27

 “There are two great days in a person's life -- the day we are born and the day we discover why.” William Barclay

Now that you are reading this, which means you are alive, do you know why you were born? Does that question seem obvious to you? If it does, am glad you know. Am glad you won't look back to your life and wonder "What was it all for?"

"So I got the titles, the recognition, the admiration, even have my own fans, a picturesque family - what was it all for? Why did I give my all to nothing but titles and recognition. All my time was spent on making my family comfortable, I didn't want the poverty I grew up in to affect my family. I have all the wealth, you can imagine, all you would ever desire I have. I'd rather die than live another day, I don't know the reason for my existence."
Excerpt adapted from a true story.

The story above just depicts the outcome of not knowing the purpose for one's existence and living to fulfill the purpose. True happiness is never derived from the things that we acquire in our lives.

Most people in the world are walking skeletons, being carried by the wind to whichever direction it blows. If its to the East, let's go, you seem to say. Oh now it's to the West, hurray, at least that is a change. Now it's beginning to get fun. Along the way to the West, even before you've got there, the wind blows again and this time, the North is your destination. Before you even set camp at the North, the East is beckoning again. Wait a minute, you pause, with all the strength you can gather, don't I have a say in all this. However, the more you struggle, the more you lose to the wind, whether you like it or not, the East is the place you will go back to - the wind bellows back. The case of a dog returning to it's own vomit. Remember, the East was not really where you wanted to be in the first place, you just found yourself there, for lack of a better explanation.

Are you a walking skeleton? Do you have a say to where the wind, a metaphor for you're job, family, economy, friends etc. takes you? Are you in charge of your destiny or is your destiny is in charge of you?

“Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”
 William Jennings Bryan
So now we know, destiny is not by luck, you have to pursue it intentionally. What is your destiny? Do you have the slightest idea?


Danilo Rizzuti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Synonyms of purpose: aim, ambition, aspiration, design, dream, end, idea, ideal, intent, intention, mark, meaning, object, objective, plan, point, goal, target

Why were you born? This is the question we will attempt to answer, everyone on his/ her own. We will answer it by looking at the pitfalls we encounter along the way of discovery.


There is NO reason.

Some of us think there is simply no reason for our existence. That by mere luck your father and mother conceived you into the world and you've been walking the earth since then. That someday, you will die just like the rest of humanity.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

Let me shock you today, if you subscribe to this school of thought. There is a reason, there is a purpose, the Manufacturer of life had a goal, whether you choose to believe it or not.


In a factory, there is usually so much activity, but the aim is to manufacture as many products as possible. With the use of machines, the work has definitely been reduced. Manufacture requires skill, hard work, patience and persistence. Every product that is manufactured has a form and shape, both of which have to be molded to specific pre-determined requirements; and once these are attained then the finished products are shipped to their destination for consumption.


Let's assume that you enter a supermarket, do you find that most times than not, you have a specific product in mind. Maybe, you were thirsty and just needed a cold drink. There are many drinks on the shelves but you choose just one, if you chose water, there are many different water companies, you still chose one manufacturer's product. Have you ever stopped to think why?

Now let's assume there is a supermarket of life, and you are one of the products 'on sale'.  Why should a 'buyer' come and pick you out of all the other similar products on the shelves? Is there a possibility that no one even looked at you're aisle in such a long time, that the dust is overwhelming. Did the manufacturer make a mistake? Are you the first of the losses the company has had to incur? What are you worth? Did he put such a high price on you that no one is willing to pay the price?

All these questions and more linger in our minds? Most times, our questions are valid. The main question still stands : Do I have a purpose? What is my purpose?

The answer to these questions is as simple as the answer to the question below:

A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. And they were not twins. How is this even possible?

I am not like so-and-so.

We live in a competitive world. You compete with your siblings, you compete with your friends, you compete in education, you compete in the workplace, even after you are married, you compete with your spouse ---we all know competition has not had good results, most of the time.

With your siblings, you've been hurt physically or emotionally or possibly the other way round, as a result your parents gave you thorough beatings or at the very least some scorning. With your friends, some you had to lose along the way. In education, the results may never have reflected the hard work you put in, possibly because some had the answers even before the questions had arrived. In marriage, it's always about who has the last word, and none of you has ever given in to the pressure. At the workplace, who will get that one post, you have to get it - no choice you say, but to compete.

A mistake we always make is to think we don't have a choice.

Whether to compete or not is a choice, and you've already made it even before you enter the ring!

It is all about comparisons: looks, IQ, money, bodily strength e.t.c? The underlying statement in all this competition is:  I am better than so-and-so.

Have you ever thought on a light note, why do you compete with people and not other things - compete with your dog on who has the sharpest teeth; compete with a cheetah, just to know if you are faster; while you are at it please compete with that cake, let's see who is the sweetest of them all. I'd not take these challenges, but please do them. Prove that you are worth it.

We always think we have something to prove, why do we then compete? Let's consider a fight of words. Someone at your workplace, just called you a loser! No reason for the outburst of words. What do you do? How do you react?

Life is like a game of chess, every step determines your fate, which (your fate) will be known at the end of the game, and not the beginning.

I wonder if any factory would make two different products that would compete for the same market. Wouldn't that be a self-defeating process?

Comparisons and competition are as a result of not knowing purpose. I'll dare say, don't compete with anyone but yourself, don't intimidate anyone, don't be intimidated by anyone, you have nothing to prove to anyone, other than yourself!

I'd love to hear your insights, is there more to life?

1 John 3:8 ... The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work.

 
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