Hello.

Taunet Nelel means 'New Beginning.' This blog is about finding purpose and living in purpose. It seeks to inspire hope and help you live a fulfilling life. One with "No Regrets, No Fear, No Shame and No Anger."

Pilgrims of The Alley: Interview with Author Dave Arnold

Wednesday, February 20

Today I am excited to interview Dave Arnold who has launched his first book, Pilgrims of the Alley on Amazon, just this week. It is available both on Paperback and as a Kindle Edition.

He shares a message of hope and how to thrive in purpose as Christians despite being in a fallen world where we constantly feel out of place. This message resonates with what we share on this blog.

Without further ado, let us get to meet Dave and know more about his newly released book:


Pilgrims of the Alley - Book Cover


Maureen: Kindly introduce yourself to our readers, who is Dave Arnold?
Dave: I am a writer, speaker, and an advocate for refugees living in Dearborn, Michigan. I've been in full-time ministry since 1998 in a variety of roles: as a pastor, missionary, urban worker, social worker, etc. I've been married to Angie for 13 years and we have one son, Luke.
I have been a writer since 2003, where I first started doing freelance work for a variety of magazines and online journals. I also started doing freelance writing with a major church denomination. I am a blogger, too, and have started me own online ministry: www.reflectionsfromthealley.org

Maureen: Have you always thought of one day authoring a book?
Dave: I was inspired to write by a professor I had in college by the name of Dr. Hensley. He taught me to love words and to use words to impact people’s lives. He encouraged me in my writing endeavours. So, in 2003, I started doing freelance writing by writing for different magazines and journals. God really opened up doors for me to write. In 2006, while in was in Chicago, I started writing a bit and started to put together a book. I stopped after a while; but then in 2011, I really sensed God wanting me to write this book.

Maureen: Why did you choose the title “Pilgrims of the Alley: Living out Faith in Displacement”? What was your inspiration?
Dave: The Title, Pilgrims of the Alley, came to me when I was working with World Relief, a refugee agency on Chicago’s north side. I was loading up donated furniture in the back alley and I met this homeless couple. They were going from dumpster-to-dumpster looking for something (although I’m not sure what). I couldn’t shake them from my mind; and the phrase, “pilgrims of the alley” just came to me. And I began thinking about how people who follow Christ in this world are homeless, oftentimes wondering through the alleys of life attempting to live out their faith in an authentic way. Moreover, I believe God is at work in the “alley” – that is, in the tough and undesirable places of our lives and in the world.

If I could sum up my book in one word, it would be the word hope.


Maureen: Share with us the main message of the book.
Dave:  Really, it’s a book about hope – a deep hope in a God who is for us and who is leading us through the alleys of life to our ultimate destination with Him (in Heaven). It’s a book inspired by many people who have suffered and persevered amid great difficulties and challenges. I share stories of refugees who escaped through the jungle to get to safety; and my friend who started a business that seeks to bless and serve people in spite of losing his job and house.



My hope is that people will read the book and walk inspired and ready to take action: ready to engage in meaningful work and learn to trust God no matter what.



Maureen: In the book you cover three main stages of displacement, kindly break that down for us in a few words.
Dave: The three stages of Displacement I share in the book are: (1) Disorientation; (2) Blessing; (3) Homecoming.

These three stages I’ve observed in many immigrants and refugees whom I’ve worked with, especially within the first six months or so of their new life in a foreign country.

First is disorientation. Disorientation is the initial “shock” of living in a foreign environment. The challenges of language, culture, finding a job, etc. are at the forefront. Similarly, as followers of Jesus, we often feel disoriented in life – as if we are trying to navigate through a foreign and (often) difficult environment.

Second is blessing. This is where a person starts to assimilate into their new environment: where they learn to adjust, becoming more self-sufficient, etc. For Christians, once we face that life can be profoundly disappointing and disoriented, we then can move through life with the purpose of blessing others by living out our God-ordained purpose.

Third, is homecoming. Most of the immigrants and refugees I’ve worked with have a longing to go back to their homeland. Really, the longing never goes away. For some people – refugees from Somalia or Sudan or Afghanistan – they may never go back to their countries. But that doesn’t mean they don’t miss it and long to see their homes.


As Christians, the Bible tells us our home is not this earth – that this is not all there is. In John 14, Jesus told His disciples He had to leave to go prepare a place for them… and that He will come back and take us to where He is (Heaven).


Maureen: After every chapter, there is a section called, “Reflections of the Alley.” What is that about and how important is reflection as a practice in the society today?

Dave: The idea of Reflections From the Alley came alongside of the book a few years ago. (In fact, I decided to name my blog Reflections From the Alley as a result of this.) I want readers to be able to reflect on what they just read; to think on it and write out some thoughts. And hopefully, they will look back at what they wrote years later and remember what God taught them. There is also a prayer after the reflections the reader can use as a guide.

I think reflecting on what you read or learn or experience is vital to our growth. We are to be both reflective and active.

Maureen: We can either live a life of purpose or go through the motions in life, and get lost in the discouragement of life. Can we thrive in displacement or are we just meant to survive?

Displacement is when we’re struggling or feel out of our natural environment.


Dave: I believe with all my heart it is possible to thrive in displacement. Throughout the Bible, you see God’s people thriving in difficulties and challenging situations. But the key is trusting God. We will not make it if we do not trust God. He is the One who sustains us and who helps us thrive.


Maureen: Does life work out the way we think it should Dave? What has been your experience and how are we to live even if life doesn’t work out?

I don’t think life works out the way we think it should (at least not often). We have an idea of how life should be – that we should be happy, have a good job, get married, have kids, etc. – but life always throws us curve balls and is full of challenges.

Dave: We live in a fallen world: a world where tragedies happen and sickness occurs, and wars. Jesus never said He would give us a pain-free happy life; but He did promise He would be with us. When you cling to God and trust Him, life works and you thrive. It may not work the way you hope or think. But there will be joy and peace.

Maureen: You share a lot from people’s personal experiences in the book, yours and other peoples’. What would you say about experiences we go through day-to-day and the importance of learning from others as well?

Dave: I think we learn best from experiences. Going to school is good and learning information; but experience is the best teacher. We should always seek to be learners: to learn from others, to learn from our own experiences. One of the ways I personally do this is by keeping a journal. I jot down what God is teaching me, people who impact me, etc. It’s always helpful to look back and see how God worked.

Maureen: Any last words you would like to share with the readers of this blog Dave?

Dave: I do hope you check out my book. It was not written in an office or as theory of nice principles. It’s written from the blood, sweat, and tears of experience and attempting to work out my own faith in this world. It’s a book to read and reflect on; but more importantly, to act on. To be willing to trust deeply in God and do extraordinary things in this world.
In fact, if you buy the book this week (Book Launch Week, Feb. 18-24), you will receive some bonus items (a really good video about World Relief, a refugee organization that is helping the poor and displaced all over the world, and a PDF of the book. In addition, you will be eligible to enter a contest to win free Starbucks gift cards and eBooks.
Thanks for having me Maureen!
.....................................................................................................................................


Thanks for sharing with us so candidly Dave, it's my pleasure!
        To get the bonus items and enter the contest, you must send Dave the receipt of the book. You can email him the receipt at davejarnold16@gmail.com
To connect more with Dave find him on any of the following platforms:
Twitter:  @davejarnold16



Question : Are you a pilgrim of the alley? (Please share on the comments section and check out the book on Amazon)


Open and Uncut (Plus a giveaway of an Ebook, SELAH)

Friday, February 8


I am humbled and glad to be part of the launch team of a Christian devotional, SELAH: A 90-Day Journey of Grace and Hope written by my online friend, Joseph Iregbu.
I would love that you kindly download a sample of the book - the First 7 Days of the devotional from this link: http://selahthebook.com/free/
Just as the name suggests, you will daily take time to pause and calmly think on each day’s topic. You will also be filled with the grace and hope that only God can give. Joseph took a seven year journey to write this devotional, I believe it will be a blessing for you and will be worth your while.


Are you real? Are you authentic?
In an imperfect and fast paced world, where we have love and hate, joy and sorrow, hope and hopelessness – it comes back to you and the choices you make as you journey through life.
Please pause and calmly think about this question: “Who am I?”
How did you answer that? Did you say daughter/ son, father/ mother, a sojourner…the answers to this question are as varied and broad as they get.
My next question is, “Who are you outside of the roles that you play?” Are you defined by the position you play in the workplace, home, and community?
Whose expectations do you live for?”
What is success to you?”
Have you ever failed? Does that make you a failure?”
When will you consider yourself as successful?”
Do you have dreams?”
When you die, will you have lived a full life – done all that you were born to?”
Do you think you are valuable?”
Do you add value to the world – in your relationships, at your workplace, in the community?”
Are you a difference maker in this world?”


“We are often good at masking our pain with fake smiles, raised hands in shallow worship and timid confessions of faith. We must learn to be open and real.” Joseph Iregbu, Author of SELAH: A 90-Day Journey of Grace and Hope

This year, I am launching into the deep. In purpose fulfillment, writing, giving hope, relationships and living a life that matters. The path that I know God is leading me this year is to launch into the deep seas where there could be storms, more danger in the waters, and turbulent winds. I believe the boat is safe. I believe that I am safe. My Savior sits with me in the boat resting. Effortlessly, He shall speak calmly, “Peace be still.”
We shall continue to declare that we have no regrets, no fear, no shame and no anger. In the coming months, I shall walk with you on the journey to find your authentic self and answering the above questions – hopefully with more clarity.
I pray that each word I share will be an encouragement. I also welcome you to share your life lessons with us. I am no expert, but I have a passion to help you journey through life with renewed hope and live an impactful life.
Join me in coming posts as we answer these and many more questions. I value your feedback and your support as you read and share.
Are you real? Are you authentic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Hebrews 4:12-13 Expanded Bible (EXB)

12 [For] God’s word is alive and ·working [active; powerful; effective] and is sharper than a double-edged sword. It ·cuts all the way into us, where the soul and the spirit are joined, to the center of our joints and bones [penetrates until it divides even soul and spirit, joints and marrow]. And it ·judges [discerns] the ·thoughts [ideas] and ·feelings [attitudes; intentions] in our hearts. 13 ·Nothing in all the world [Nothing in all creation; or No creature] can be hidden from God. Everything is ·clear [naked] and ·lies open before him [exposed to his eyes], and to him we must ·explain the way we have lived [give an account; answer].

DELAY IS NOT DENIAL

Friday, January 25

I recently read a magazine headlined, “Whatever Happened to Patience?” The cover photo has an image of people waiting in line at a tax office obviously impatient. The woman at the counter was arguing and seems to have taken so long going by the faces of those waiting/ or could we say forced to wait by circumstances beyond their control.
To remain committed in the journey and with perseverance in life, we have to watch out for this enemy that lurks in the corner - Impatience.
People normally say about themselves, “I am not a patient person” or “I am not patient with such people.” Personally I think impatience has grown popular in this day and age. We are always looking for the next big thing, the faster way to execute a job – so much so, that we miss the mark.
Good things come to those who wait.

Granted, patience is a virtue. I think until we face the ugliness of the effects of some habits, we can’t and maybe won’t see the need of adopting other habits.
Impatience causes frustration, anger and stress – related issues.

Consider the growth of an oak tree. An acorn seed takes 3-6 months to germinate into a sapling. “The growth process is a slow one, with white oaks producing new growth at a rate of 10 to 15 feet within a span of 10 to 12 years, according to the Clemson University Extension. Though growth is slow, white oaks have a life expectancy surpassing 100 years.” (Source in the link below) Can you imagine an oak tree can live up to 1000 years? If the acorn can wait that long, what are you getting overly impatient for?

photo credit: Steve Clancy via photopin creative commons



There are various impatience triggers ranging from the simplest to the most complex (depending on your perception). Waiting for an elevator, reading through a book, church services, electioneering periods, a couple waiting for a child from God, saving to buy a home, expanding a business, working towards your area of purpose – we would not be able to exhaustively name them here. Even as simple waiting for a bus or having to be stuck in a traffic jam.

What gets to us most about having to wait is the possibility of being denied what we are waiting for, especially when we are under circumstances out of our control. And the more we try to control these things, the more we get frustrated. The only person we can change, or control is ourselves. Once we change, only then can we influence others to change.
Developing patience
Patience is an inside job.
Love is patient. Love is the root of patience. If you understand that you are loved by God, you will love yourself and ultimately love others. You will be patient with God because you know that He is patient with you. You will be patient with yourself and in turn be patient with others. With every trial you face in life – your patience grows. Trials come from the outside environment, and are meant to test your faith.
Will you be still, will you be quiet, assured that you have a Father looking after your best interest? He not only precedes and prepares for you the place where you are going; He also prepares you for that time and place.
It must have taken a lot of patience for Abraham to wait 25 years for God’s promise to be fulfilled in getting Isaac as a son. He got a bit impatient and had a son with a servant, Hagar. But God’s promise was still fulfilled when he was 100 years while Sarah was 90 years then. We now call him the “Father of Nations.”
Here is my take, let us take moments to smell the roses, enjoy the warmth of the sun during the day, and laugh out loud. Take moments to linger and reflect; invest in close relationships with those whom you care deeply about. Help a friend. Buy lunch for a hungry kid on the street. Random acts of kindness. Do today what you can. When tomorrow comes, you will deal with whatever comes your way.
While you are waiting, worry less and work on changing you. Be the BEST you (you) can be.
Maybe, delay is good. Delay may mean that better things are coming your way. Delay may also mean that you need to develop endurance and a strong character for what awaits you in the future.
Delay after all, is not denial.

What are your impatience triggers? What has been your experience with delays and growing in patience?

James 1:2-4 (MSG) Faith Under Pressure

2-4 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

Five Ways to Stay Committed Despite the Odds

Friday, January 4

Commitment connotes an obligation, or a pledge or promise you personally make without any external push to do the same.

Whether to God, in relationships, our responsibilities, a change of habits, or goals, we have at a point committed to one thing, person or event.

Think of climbing a mountain. I did that recently and was shocked at how 2,780 m (9,180 ft) turned out to be a challenge. In the journey I experienced shortness of breath, headache, body weakness and nausea. Despite it all, I committed myself to finish the ascent. The sights were amazing, I made friends and sticking it through was well worth it at the end.

Photo Credit: Tim Brauhn via Photo Pin



How can we stay committed despite insurmountable odds? Let us consider these five ways that will help us in stay committed:

  1. Be Content

Life is really a journey of climbing mountains per say. There are two options for rating our experience, either by the journey during the climb or the destination which is the top of the mountain. Think of a goal to lose weight – we either enjoy the daily jogging regime (journey) or have aching pains of not attaining an ideal weight (destination).

Most times we base our contentment on the destination we desire to reach in a future time. “I will be contented when I reach the cliff...” Sooner or later, you will get to your destination.

True contentment is in the now, during the journey to the top. Enjoy the climb, gasp at the scenery, and bask in your progress.

I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

  1. Avoid Making Comparisons
Why do we compare ourselves with others, as if one of us is better and another worse? I find comparisons really a reflection on our own personal insecurities.

It is good to read biographies and learn from people – desire to emulate their good traits.

Each of us is an original. So our journeys and circumstances unique. Compete with yourself if you must.

  1. Keep Hope Alive
Hope is a joyful expectation that looks past the present circumstances. Hope says “It's possible”, even when all else seems lost.

  1. ACT on Knowledge
Many accumulate knowledge and stack it up in a physical library of books or in their brains which can store a staggering amount of data, facts and figures.

If you never ACT on that knowledge it would be just as good as if you never had it in the first place. Mentally waiting on things to magically change without your participation – is too presumptuous on your part.

The acronym ACT may help in handling knowledge – choose to Apply, Change or Teach something from every aspect of knowledge accumulated.

  1. Nurture Discipline
Apathy is an indifference to what we learn or know and lethargy is laziness towards the same.

In sharp contrast, discipline means doing what you need to do especially when you don't feel like it. Nurture discipline to stay committed while watching against apathy and lethargy.

Proverbs 16:3
Roll your works upon the LORD [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so your plans shall be established and succeed.
(Amplified Version)

Do you encounter difficulties with keeping commitments? How else can you stay committed in your journey?

Happy New Year to every one of my readers.
2012 was a great year being my first in blogging. I appreciate each of you for reading, the feedback and the support you have offered me.
I pray that 2013 will certainly be greater for all of us. I thank God for the opportunity to yet again share with you. May we continue to be an encouragement to each other.

Perseverance

Friday, December 21

I wonder what comes to mind when you hear the word persevere.

To me it has a sense of waiting. A time of difficulty and great opposition. When what we perceive as success individually seems so close yet so far.

                                      Photo Credit : duncan via Creative Commons
 

                  Persevere (From the Merriam- Webster dictionary)
Synonyms: carry on, persist, gut it out, hang in there
Related Words: hang on, keep up, follow through (with), knuckle down (to apply oneself earnestly)
Near Antonyms: give up, knock off, quit; bow, give in, submit, succumb, surrender, yield; falter, hang back, hesitate, shilly-shally, vacillate, waver, wobble (also wabble)


God will speak individually to each according to His will.

Today, I come to encourage you in your journey. With the assurance that there are great things God will do for you. His promises are sure and His Word never fails.

2 Peter 3:9 (Amplified Version)
The Lord does not delay and is not tardy or slow about what He promises, according to some people’s conception of slowness, but He is long-suffering (extraordinarily patient) toward you, not desiring that any should perish, but that all should turn to repentance.

Who likes to wait? Maybe the correct question is, who doesn't have to wait?

Anything that has to bypass the process of waiting is usually half-baked. Imagine having to eat half-baked bread in the morning, or buying an earthen pot that is unfinished because it refused to go through the whole shaping process.

Isaiah 45:9-10 (Message Version)
Does clay talk back to the potter: ‘What are you doing? What clumsy fingers!’ Would a sperm say to a father, ‘Who gave you permission to use me to make a baby?’ Or a fetus to a mother, ‘Why have you cooped me up in this belly?’

You are the clay in the potter's (God's) hands.

This is an excerpt from Matthew Henry's Commentary of Isaiah 28:27-29:

Afflictions are God's threshing instruments, designed to loosen us from the world, to separate between us and our chaff, and to prepare us for use. He shall proportion them to our strength; they shall be no heavier than there is need.

Do you have fights around you and within fears, feeling like the disciples in a storm ready to perish?

We are humans and just as Israelites in the desert, God speaks comfortably to us. He has taken notice of our griefs and fears; what afflictions we are under; what distresses we are in and He knows what comforts our cases call for.

This is the definition of perseverance according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary: continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition

I don't know what difficulties are in your way and the opposition you have had to endure in your journey. My encouragement today is to ask you to carry on, persevere; no good fruit is borne out of giving up.

Prayerfully. faithfully love and cherish God. Trust Him and in due season you shall reap.

Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas, may this season be one of refreshing and renewal. May you find the peace and joy you seek only in God through Jesus Christ. I love you all.

Many 'Second Chances'

Thursday, November 29

Personally being given a second chance in life is a great feeling. It rejuvenates my attitude towards any given situation.

In fact, my attitude towards seemingly discouraging situations sometimes is the problem.

I hit a snag at work recently, I was receiving phone calls with clients making complaints and they needed help. My mind blanked out for some time. I simply couldn't think of a way to help.

After speaking with my superior, it just dawned on me - I had my perspective all wrong.

I had tuned into "I-CANT" instead of "HOW-CAN-I"  help station.

That there was my second chance to redeem myself. Long story short, I managed to help even more than I had perceived I could.


                             photo credit: hyperion327 via photopin cc


Andrew M Greeley said, "We're given second chances every day of our life. We don't usually take them, but they're there for the taking"


Every day is a second chance

It might be cliché, but it's true. Everyday you wake up, you have a second chance at life. A second chance to live life better, and to do things better.

You get a second chance to forgive.

You can choose to love better.

Tell the people you love that you love them. More than telling them show them.

Forgive those that have wronged you. Give them a second chance.

I know we know that we are also imperfect, and sooner or later, we will need to be forgiven.

Failure is not fatal and Success is not final

Winston Churchill said that, I think he was talking about second chances.

It takes courage to stand up and dust yourself off from a failure with lessons.

It takes even more courage to walk away from perceived success knowing that there are more battles to be conquered.

Live right with God

If there is any one I know who is more gracious and merciful, it is God.

If you are looking for a second chance, I can't think of anyone better to look to than God.

Excerpted from Nehemiah 9:31-32 (MSG)
But when they called out for help in their troubles
    you listened from heaven;
And in keeping with your bottomless compassion
    you gave them saviors:
Saviors who saved them
    from the cruel abuse of their enemies.
But as soon as they had it easy again
    they were right back at it—more evil.
So you turned away and left them again to their fate,
    to the enemies who came right back.
They cried out to you again; in your great compassion
    you heard and helped them again.
    This went on over and over and over. 


Do you need a second chance? What are second chances to you? Leave a comment below and share about the many second chances we have in life.

P.S. I lost a friend earlier yesterday. He inspired this post.

Excited to Guest Post at the Intentional Today Blog

Thursday, November 8

Today I am honored to be a Guest Blogger for Ngina Otiende at the Intentional Today blog where I share that Change Begins With Me.

Ngina is a writer and trainer who loves helping others take charge of their lives. She has a passion to see people reach their full potential through intentional growth and relationships. She is married to her hero and they live in Maryland. You can check out her blog Intentional Today, find her on Facebook, and follow her on Twitter.

This is an excerpt from the post:


"Don't change the player, change the game." I recently heard these words in a movie. So often  in life, I want the players to change.

Not me.

Them.

For example, I want my boss and colleagues to change. At home, I want my siblings to change.

Yet in all these circumstances...I happen to be the common factor  - the only person that can actually change.



Without further ado, again here is the link to the post.

I appreciate you dropping by, whether or not this is your first time on this blog. Feel free to read the previous posts. Thank you.

An Unfinished House - Count The Cost

Thursday, October 25

Back as a kid, there was a house on the way to school that lay unfinished for the longest time. It seemed that the owners were so burdened, they could not finish constructing their house. From afar, it was a seemingly beautiful mansion,  but when you took a closer look the house was abandoned and inhabitable.

How many unfinished houses can you count in your neighborhood?

"Is there anyone here who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money, you’re going to look pretty foolish. Everyone passing by will poke fun at you: ‘He started something he couldn’t finish."

Count the cost.

These three words give us the answer to unfinished houses.

Do we count the cost?

photo credit: bbcworldservice via photopin cc

An "unfinished house" is one which could be better, whose potential has been untapped, whose glory is hidden and whose treasure is unexplored. It could be a person, a relationship or areas of stagnation.

Using the concept of unfinished houses, lets apply that to our personal lives and use three areas in your life that could probably be unfinished:

  1. Your personal life:

Have you ever considered that you are under construction? That probably you walk around with the sign, "Under Construction" on your forehead literally.



DaveArnold puts it this way, “The truth is, there are a lot of hungry people in the world. They’re hungry for meaning, hope, belonging and love. ”


I wonder if all these hungry people are getting filled from the right sources. I presume hunger would naturally as it does, prompt us to look to get filled. Sometimes we end up eating junk and ultimately junk is all that we produce.

We may find it expedient to go through the motions in life at the expense of what really matters. It is quite easy to stay defeated by other people's opinions. We can throw our hands in despair to say, “It cannot be done.” Quickly an assumption is stamped as the truth.

Can we afford to walk through life with our hands in the pocket? Count the cost.

  • Question assumptions you have made. Pass them through the test of truth, do they hold water. Jessica Cox holds a Guinness World Record 2011 as 'The First Armless Person in the World Ever to Have Obtained a Pilot’s License.' What are your perceived limitations?
  • Choose to frame your questions differently. You have to realize that asking the right question prompts a correct answer. 5 + 5 = ? is a question that closes your imagination while ? + ? = 10 opens up your imagination to endless possibilities.
  • Rather than pointing out problems, seek solutions. You can the missing link. Be the change.

  1. Your relationships:

Our relationships are “Under Construction.” Since man is not an island, we can safely say that at any one point you will be dealing with other people.

How you relate with other people mirrors how you relate with yourself. They say that a wife mirrors the husband. The children mirror the home. A team is as strong as its weakest member.


“When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you are constructing a house, you start work with the architects drawing. It is a blueprint of what the end product will look like. People are similar. Treat them as potentials and they will blossom.

  1. Areas of stagnation:

Stagnation is a sign of death. I know quite a strong statement but true nonetheless. “Unfinished houses” are stagnant. There is no change, you walk by from day to day and it is just the same. Frederick Douglass said, “Inaction is followed by stagnation. Stagnation is followed by pestilence and pestilence is followed by death.”

Familiarity breeds complacency. Whenever comfort begins you had better seek to move, since comfort borders so much on the danger zone. When everything is okay, they might not be okay after all.

Are there areas in your life that you perceive stagnancy? It may not take a day to change in that area. Begin with small steps. Ask the tough questions. Any area of unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, lying – you name it – needs to go for real growth to take its place.


I love how Floyd says it here, “There are times in life that we do the same thing; we ignore reality… It’s done with small things and bigger things alike...That’s the easiest thing to do isn’t it? Pretend it’s not there.”

It may not be easy, regardless choose to face reality today. Face your fears and choose to change what has been stagnant. Then you will begin to move past the familiar. Take action now.

What do "Unfinished houses" mean to you? Are you under construction and do we need to Count the cost? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

James 1:24

The Message (MSG)
22-24 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.

Don't Waste Your Life

Thursday, October 4

You have only one life, spend it wisely. Don’t Waste Your Life!

It could seem obvious to everyone at first, but getting down to it personally: “How am I spending my life?” is a question we need to ponder on. What will matter, when you are no more – not breathing anymore? Will it be the wealth you accumulated, will it be the number of friends you made or even enemies?

Randy Travis sang about it in Three Wooden Crosses – “It’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you; it’s what you leave behind you when you go.” Michael Josephson wrote about it in the well known poem, “What will Matter.” John Piper dedicated himself to find the opposite of a wasted life. Jesus lived a ‘NOT WASTED LIFE ‘and he offers us too the invitation to not waste our lives.


photo credit: pchow98 via photopin cc


I just celebrated my 2-Something birthday :) 25th Birthday to be exact and God has been gracious. This year for me has been one of endings, new beginnings and molding of character.

More than anything, I desire a life that glorifies God in me.

I will share 7 lessons I have learned in the two decades of my existence and I would only hope that it will resonate with you as much as it does with me. Michael Josephson says, “What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.”

1.    It’s not about ME.
Who do you look for first in a picture of you with family and friends? Don’t we all point to ourselves? “That’s me” we seem to say. In relationships, we always want to fight for our rights while fleeing responsibility. When something goes wrong, we first take it personally before analyzing to see the root causes.

•    It didn't happen to you as much as for you: We get engrossed in what happens to us, so much so, that we forget that it could be for our sake. I’ve learnt to ask more “What is the lesson?” questions instead of “Why me?” questions.
•    What doesn't break you makes you: Whatever trials we face are meant to build our character. If we forget that, it becomes a discouragement, instead of a growth moment. Every rejection we face is meant to push us further into lives of significance; we just have to choose to seek the opportunities instead of problems.
•    For so long, I prayed for God to change my circumstances: It was only until I agreed with God that I needed to change first, did I notice my circumstances start to change. I learnt that the weather didn’t have to change. I had to change my perception of the weather first and later notice that rain was also good weather.
        
Who is it about then, glad you asked…

2.    It’s about God and other people.
Jesus gave two great commandments and both have to do with love. Love for God, love for self and love for others.

Love is the essence of who God is and He loved us even when we were unlovable.

I have learned that only God loves perfectly and He can teach me to do the same.

You cannot give what you don’t have. We obtain a healthy self worth from what God says about us and then treat others as such.

Treat them as we would want to be treated.

3.    It’s never too late to dream again.

Dreams don’t die – we just bury them alive.

Dreams are given to us by the Creator. The creation cannot seek meaning apart from seeking answers from the Creator.

Sooner or later, you dream your childhood dreams again, after a season of mediocrity. The catch is you have to act on the dream – pursue it. Contend with your fears again and again. Risk failure. Risk success. Fail forward, and don’t give up.

Seek God during the process and be intentional in your pursuit daily.

4.    Forgiveness frees the forgiver.
This one was not an easy lesson for me personally. Especially because those closest to you: “deserve to know when they have hurt you and must say sorry at the very least.” At least, that is what I thought.

I learned it the hard way. If I don’t forgive, the prisoner held hostage is me. The biggest loser is me. Even when my offenders are not sorry, I have to love myself enough to forgive them.

Only then will I be able to claim my love for them and live beyond the hurt. Every other lesson I have learned is pegged on forgiveness.

I would hope that you would analyze your life too and ask whether you harbor any bitterness or anger against anyone even if it’s God. Deal with it now or it will deal with you.

Whoever said time heals wounds, didn’t consider that it is also a personal choice. You make the choice to forgive, not time.

5.    Failure is never final.
Both the moon and the sun know what time to shine and we should too. It takes patience and perseverance. Your time to shine will ultimately come but you have to put up with making numerous mistakes along the way.

We seem to learn more from the struggles and the failure than what we perceive as success.

Don’t give up. Quit. Fall. Rise up and try again.

The difference between try and triumph is a little bit of "UMPH!"

6.    Learning never stops, if it does you stop living.
We don’t literally die when we stop learning. No, life just stops making much sense. Pieces in the puzzle don’t seem to fit. And rightly so.

No one knows everything if you ask me. That is why we need to keep learning.

And you will never know everything. That is why you decide to put your energies into one thing and become great in it.

Obstacles to learning include pride and ungratefulness. Develop a teachable spirit and life becomes an easier journey for everyone.

7.    Be grateful.
Do you notice that breathing is a reflex action which you do not get to choose? Waking up from bed healthy is a gift.

Every day is a present you do not deserve yet you have.

I don’t know about you. Personally, saying ‘Thank You’ and really meaning it makes life worth living.

It pushes me to live a life of significance – where mere existence is pushed in the backseat and making a difference becomes priority.

When we say thanks often, we become humble. It keeps us in the know that life could not be lived on our own and for ourselves alone.

Regrets – they are just a waste of time. Learn the lesson and move on living in the present and looking to the uncharted future.

Fears only stall our progress if we let them; courage is not the absence of fear but the conquest of it.

Shame leads to a mediocre life – Jesus was shamed more than anyone in this life and yes He rose again.

Anger – only stifles your growth more than the offenders’. Life for them may just be getting better while yours is dwindling.

Choose a new beginning with no regrets, no fear, no shame and no anger. This is what this blog is all about.

We are all here to learn and to teach. Please share your lessons as well in the comment section. What is a wasted life to you?


Matthew 16 Amplified Bible (AMP)

25 For whoever is bent on saving his [temporal] life [his comfort and security here] shall lose it [eternal life]; and whoever loses his life [his comfort and security here] for My sake shall find it [life everlasting].

You are Not a Victim

Friday, September 28

These words changed and continue to change the course of my life and I pray that you would see the truth in them too. Good or bad, successful or unsuccessful, happy or sad, fair or unfair – you own your life.

“You are accountable for your life. You have always been accountable. You will always be accountable. If you don't like your job, you are accountable. If your relationships are on the rocks, you are accountable. If you are overweight, you are accountable. If you are not happy, you are accountable.” (Phillip McGraw, Life Strategies Page 56)

You are not a victim. This may not be easy to accept for some, nonetheless it is the real deal. It is a deal breaker. Responsibility begins when you accept this truth. Responsibility is about accepting that you make decisions in your life and that you own the consequences for those decisions. Good or bad.

You are not a victim


It is not the weather, neither is it your angry boss nor is it your parents' fault. It is not the government, nor is it the economy. No, your husband is not at fault, your children are also not the cause of your problems and your wife didn't ruin your life.

Maybe you went through a traumatic loss, rejection or experience such as physical rape, when you were a child. You might not have had the knowledge or power to make certain choices as a child and therefore you were not accountable then.

From the point when you had the knowledge or power to make choices, you became accountable for your life.

The past is behind us and the future is not yet with us. We deal in the present because this is where we are. Today is the present, it is God's gift to us.

You choose now how to respond to everything that happened in your life.

Here is what a victim says: “They are all out to get me.”

Here is what an accountable person says, “I am responsible.”

Are you honest about getting well or do you just want to manipulate others with your condition?

A victim seeks to draw sympathy and excuse themselves from the problems in their lives. They complain, pout, blame, everyone and everything else apart from themselves. They seem to desire change but all they draw to themselves are the circumstances they endlessly complain about.

An accountable person is the one who realizes they are responsible for every choice and every consequence in their lives. They own the problem, they accept that they are part of the problem and also own the task of finding a solution.

Do you want to get well? If yes, accept accountability for your life. If no, remember you are not a victim.

What are your thoughts? How has realizing that you are not a victim changed the course of your life?

photo credit: John Steven Fernandez via photopin cc

John 5:6-7 (Message Version)

When Jesus saw him stretched out by the pool and knew how long he had been there, he said, “Do you want to get well?
The sick man said, “Sir, when the water is stirred, I don’t have anybody to put me in the pool. By the time I get there, somebody else is already in.”

 
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