Internal Dialogue

Wednesday, January 25

Today I was listening to a morning show in the radio. The question that was asked was, "What do you see when you look in the mirror?" Remember, mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all... same drill. Take time to ask yourself this question. 

Do you see wrinkles, yes, those on the forehead. You should probably try those skin tightening treatments. I wont but I hear they work. Let's get back to the mirror, do you see how old you've gotten, when did you get those stretch marks (those were uninvited guests!), and ooh I see failure written all over my face, nothing good can come out of me? Are these words anything similar to what you are telling yourself? Do these words reflect what you see?

Consider years back, were you the tall kid towering in all the pictures, or were you the short one that had to stand at the very front to be seen? Did you feel weird growing up, especially in those teenage years? What have you carried with you until now? What have you come to believe about what people say about you? Maybe if you considered you would notice that none of their views holds any water. 

What you see and perceive about yourself, you will live it out. What you tell yourself on the inside is what you will ultimately be on the outside.

Doesn't matter what school of thought, tell yourself you are a failure, maybe someone told you back in your hey days, and you believe it, well what are you waiting for but failure. Thoughts start in your heart, then words are born and you live out your words by your actions.

africa /

"Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality."

Earl Nightingale
So here are more questions : -

Does somebody have to tell you that you are beautiful and all that so that you know? How many visually blessed people have to tell you for you to know? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What does this mean? Is everything and everyone by extension beautiful? Is there beauty in imperfection? Who do you know that is perfect? If imperfection is all that there is, is there anyone left that is beautiful? 

Is there a need to be told of one's beauty? Everything that is a need can be starved or overused. Are we being told that we are beautiful enough? Or is it that the more that we are told we yearn for more, a case of an appetite of a glutton. Always eating, just never in a state of fullness. The issue of over-used comes in, has the portrayal of beauty changed over the years? Maybe through the media, societal expectations and cultural 'evolution'; or the changing times.

In retrospect, beauty is skin deep. We see it on the outside through word and conversation, or simply deeds. Why do I doubt my beauty? Why do I feel good when just anyone affirms it? When I look in the mirror whose image do I see? Who do I consider beautiful? Why? Should we compare levels of beauty?

Aren't I unique in every sense of the word? How I walk, talk, sing, look, fingerprints, DNA, fingernails, toenails, hair, tongue, teeth...just all my organs and everything about me is me. All these components make me me, not like you; or you; or so and so. 

All my life is filled with comparisons. I look like mum. I have dad's ears, mum's nose, granny's feet, aunts' teeth. Yet money is made by these comparisons. Beauty pageants, 'reality' shows, makeover shows, billboards, advertisements, television anchors – and guess who gets to be the real JUDGE – ME. I get to have a say, who's more beautiful, why not so-and-so.

I'll tell you one thing , if you were to get one thing from all this, leave with this knowledge : Look in the mirror and what you should see is a beautiful person, complete with imperfections and wholly you. No one in the world is you and will ever be you.

The conclusion of the morning show was that what you tell yourself when you look in the mirror is called internal dialogue. Don't wait for someone on the outside to come and tell you what you haven't believed in (in the inside) for yourself. The journey starts in your heart.

Proverbs 23: 7 As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.


  1. I did not have a personal/convincing internal dialogue in my teenager and early adult years. The external world ran the show...which resulted in a lot of confusion, esteem issues and stunted growth. 

    I like what you've pointed out - that we all look like someone..but somehow this comparison game has become a huge money-making business. 

    The journey does truly begin in our hearts. No one can convince us on the outside what we do not believe in the inside.

    Awesome post.

  2. Thanks Ngina, you've done a good summary of the post. I believe that at teenage years we are naive and vulnerable. When we get older we should learn that there are things we started believing in that were really our reactions to the environment.

    Alvin Tuffler said “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot
    read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.”

    I have started in my own life to declare that I will not compare myself with anyone and I will not compete with anyone. If at any point, am in competition it's with myself. I have to be intentional about it. It is an inside job.

    Thanks for reading and sharing your insights.

  3. Sometimes we think it's only teenagers who are trapped in this web of confusion of identity. unfortunately, even adults who look 'successful' on the outside are struggling inwardly for acceptance, recognition and affirmation. Yet for the Christians, this needs not be so. When one is in Christ Jesus', he is a new creation, the old has passed and the new has come (2cor 5:17). This means God has given us a new identity-his children, royal priesthood, holy people...we need no one to affirm us first.

  4. You are right in that @8d7e41cc663fead20844ae34910a0a73. We are affirmed by God as Kings and priests. He also loved us before we even loved Him. Many play small and think that by what we own or what we do, that we obtain an identity. That is far from the truth.

    Thank you as always for enriching the conversation. Well said!

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