Taunet Nelel means 'New Beginning.' This blog is about finding purpose and living in purpose. It seeks to inspire hope and help you live a fulfilling life. One with "No Regrets, No Fear, No Shame and No Anger."

Internal Dialogue

Wednesday, January 25

Today I was listening to a morning show in the radio. The question that was asked was, "What do you see when you look in the mirror?" Remember, mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all... same drill. Take time to ask yourself this question. 

Do you see wrinkles, yes, those on the forehead. You should probably try those skin tightening treatments. I wont but I hear they work. Let's get back to the mirror, do you see how old you've gotten, when did you get those stretch marks (those were uninvited guests!), and ooh I see failure written all over my face, nothing good can come out of me? Are these words anything similar to what you are telling yourself? Do these words reflect what you see?

Consider years back, were you the tall kid towering in all the pictures, or were you the short one that had to stand at the very front to be seen? Did you feel weird growing up, especially in those teenage years? What have you carried with you until now? What have you come to believe about what people say about you? Maybe if you considered you would notice that none of their views holds any water. 

What you see and perceive about yourself, you will live it out. What you tell yourself on the inside is what you will ultimately be on the outside.

Doesn't matter what school of thought, tell yourself you are a failure, maybe someone told you back in your hey days, and you believe it, well what are you waiting for but failure. Thoughts start in your heart, then words are born and you live out your words by your actions.

africa / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

"Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality."

Earl Nightingale
So here are more questions : -

Does somebody have to tell you that you are beautiful and all that so that you know? How many visually blessed people have to tell you for you to know? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What does this mean? Is everything and everyone by extension beautiful? Is there beauty in imperfection? Who do you know that is perfect? If imperfection is all that there is, is there anyone left that is beautiful? 

Is there a need to be told of one's beauty? Everything that is a need can be starved or overused. Are we being told that we are beautiful enough? Or is it that the more that we are told we yearn for more, a case of an appetite of a glutton. Always eating, just never in a state of fullness. The issue of over-used comes in, has the portrayal of beauty changed over the years? Maybe through the media, societal expectations and cultural 'evolution'; or the changing times.

In retrospect, beauty is skin deep. We see it on the outside through word and conversation, or simply deeds. Why do I doubt my beauty? Why do I feel good when just anyone affirms it? When I look in the mirror whose image do I see? Who do I consider beautiful? Why? Should we compare levels of beauty?

Aren't I unique in every sense of the word? How I walk, talk, sing, look, fingerprints, DNA, fingernails, toenails, hair, tongue, teeth...just all my organs and everything about me is me. All these components make me me, not like you; or you; or so and so. 

All my life is filled with comparisons. I look like mum. I have dad's ears, mum's nose, granny's feet, aunts' teeth. Yet money is made by these comparisons. Beauty pageants, 'reality' shows, makeover shows, billboards, advertisements, television anchors – and guess who gets to be the real JUDGE – ME. I get to have a say, who's more beautiful, why not so-and-so.

I'll tell you one thing , if you were to get one thing from all this, leave with this knowledge : Look in the mirror and what you should see is a beautiful person, complete with imperfections and wholly you. No one in the world is you and will ever be you.

The conclusion of the morning show was that what you tell yourself when you look in the mirror is called internal dialogue. Don't wait for someone on the outside to come and tell you what you haven't believed in (in the inside) for yourself. The journey starts in your heart.

Proverbs 23: 7 As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

Inspired to Inspire - Part 2

Monday, January 23

Have you ever fallen where there were so many people? You're shoe (how did that happen?) hit a rock and before you could even understand what was going on you find yourself on the dust, in the mud, oil, large pool of water, who knows? It was too fast, too quick, nobody asked you?

I've fallen many times. And most of the times the-fall didn't hit me, until I hit the ground (Does that make sense? Let me know). What I mean is I don't know what hit me or what exactly I hit to get to the ground? I couldn't predict that I would fall there of all places! Once I was in a race back in school, right at the finish line I fell face flat on the ground. Wow, that was something. Trust me, I was exhausted, and that's the last race I ever ran, sadly. Far from that, many times I like to laugh at myself. It helps ease the tension of the fall, and just to get my head into perspective. And if by any chance, the people watching me fall are laughing at me, we end up laughing together. So I don't feel that bad at the end of the day.
Let's look at an analogy to explain my point. Back in University, we had this lecturer who coined jokes that only he understood. So while he ended up laughing at his own jokes hysterically, the whole class was left to painfully catch up with the joke. Truth is his jokes were dry! Or we just didn't get what the fuss was all about. Anyways, we ended up laughing at the fact that he was laughing at dry jokes and he joined us in the laughing. So that made it even more funny. We are laughing at his *dry* joke, he thought the joke was that funny and continued laughing.

No offense to the lecturer, sometimes the jokes I pull ain't funny, so I've also had to laugh on my own at times. The POINT I AM MAKING is it's healthy to laugh at yourself sometimes. Don't take life so seriously, so much that you can't laugh at your mistakes.

Today let's give some thought to falling in life. Where you fell. How you fell? Why you fell? Will you keep falling? Let's try to compare the falling with real life examples.
Everyone falls
Do you think you're the only one who went through that specific experience? I know it was beyond embarrassing. You couldn't even dare share it with anyone. Maybe you got cheated on, someone fleeced you of your cash, or who knows something really bad happened. You are not the first, nor will you be the last or the only one to go through that traumatizing time.
Let me suggest something crazy, share with someone what you've always said you'd never share with anyone. You'll get something off your back. It will help you realize, it wasn't that bad. In the most understood language I know, you'll realize it's kawa i.e. its the norm (Kawaida is a Swahili word that means norm, kawa is short for kawaida).
Maybe you'll end up saving a friend from going through the same experience by sharing.

Wherever you fell, it could have been worse. 
You may have fallen in the sewer, or off a building, or tripped in front of a moving bus (that's bad i know), but guess what, it could have been worse. Just ask around, you'll find out that your experience was just an orientation into the world of falling.
There's always someone who went through a worse experience. There always someone who's going through worse off than you ever will. Not that you are special in any way. Only they could go through that experience in those specific circumstances and still triumph.

So be encouraged, you're in a far better place than you could ever be.

However you fell, it's not the end of the world.
Now that we know everyone falls and you're not doing so bad. Get up from the ground dust yourself off and go on. They do say life goes on and that should be true for you too. You determine how long you stay on the ground.
Have you ever watched a playful child whatever age really, just playing the way children are and then suddenly they fall to the ground. Doesn't matter how and where they fall. If you start, being so emotional, saying all the sorries in the world; that child will surely cry. They'll turn on the ignition, step on the fuel and cry their tongues out. Why? Because you said sorry. Maybe they weren't even hurt.
But if you pretend you didn't notice, they'll stay on the ground a bit, play with the soil, stand up and dust themselves off. Then the games will continue, and they might even throw in some laughter to the fall.
Children are children that's how they act. But we should be able to learn not to let our falls last forever. Let them be a stepping stone to a much more enlightened maturity. Don't let the mud from the fall be your trademark. Let the scars you got from falling tell the story of your life. Not stories that end with "I am sorry that must have been so traumatizing" but stories that are filled with joy and "Wow, you are the epitome of true strength. I am so encouraged."

Whatever the reason of the fall, accept that you've fallen
Just because you hit a stone, or someone tripped you to the ground. Will that make you hate the stone or that person all your life? No, really. The truth is you've fallen. Forget the reason of the fall. First, acceptance is important. Accept that you fell. It doesn't make you any less of a person. You are still you. It's only you that can that can change what you perceive of yourself after the fall.
Was it that you ARE clumsy? Was it that someone distracted you? Or does that person just hate your guts that they couldn't pass the opportunity to see you fall?
None of the reasons make sense to me. They might be valid reasons but they don't hold any water. Reasons for your fall may vary and may even be valid, but the important thing is you learn from the fall.
The stupid never forgive and never forget, the naive forgive and forget. The wise forgive and never forget.
You should be on the guard. Don't fall on the exact same spot, in the exact same way again. When you see the same reasons or mistakes coming your way, take care that you don't fall. Derive lessons from the fall. You'll be surprised how many precious things you can learn. So it may not sound like much, guess what, the reason for the fall is the lessons learned and not the reason you fell in the first place (Hope that makes sense.)

Falling won't stop soon, you're not that special
Falling is frequent and you just have to be on your guard. It is of my opinion that pride is one of the major causes of falling. We think we are too good to fall, or falling happens to the likes of so and so. It's like you are of a special breed and it just doesn't happen to us special ones.

Think of it this way, as human beings we like to hear stories of so and so and how they went through something tough, maybe they lost their loved ones to cancer, or their marriage was a sham, or their children are the laughing stock of the town.
The story goes: Do you know Jane? The Pastor's daughter, she went abroad to study Medicine. Remember? Imagine she was deported back to the country because ... (fill in the details!)
Our ears are pulled to such stories. And our responses are Oh my? Poor Pastor, that's so sad? Children of these days! I just knew! And our responses never stop! We go on and on about how they should have done this and this! That's their mistake...

Pride comes before a fall
Just remember that next time you fall. You're not that special. Just when you think you are standing, just like in my personal experiences, you'll be the name in the next juicy story, and it won't be an easy experience.
Try to put yourself in other people's shoes. Don't judge. Don't ever think that they deserve it, because they don't. Everyone deserves to be loved. Everyone deserves compassion. Everyone deserves a second chance. Everyone deserves new beginnings. We can't offer that love the way God does, but we should try to.

We are all fallen creatures.
I'd like to hear your views, or personal lessons from falling in life.

1 Corinthians 10:12 Therefore let him that thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.

Inspired to inspire - Part 1

Monday, January 16

Let's ask some questions today, YOU know the answers. This is part one  : -
Are you making a difference in your life?
Are you making a difference in someone else's life?
Are you growing tired about something in your life?
Are you doing anything about it?
Are you waiting for someone to change?
Are you going to be the change you want to see?

The most important question is are you living for yourself? This means are you living out people's expectations of what you should be, or are you truly living out what you believe in, what inspires you, doing what motivates you? Pursuing your dreams, acting out and actualizing your goals and dreams.

Do you do things because others are doing them?
Do you fear being unique, being different, being you?
Do you sleep knowing you did all you could that do?

These are a few questions we need to consider today, now, not tomorrow or later. They are to be asked everyday, every time you wander in your own little cocoon. Did you hear the story about the ugly caterpillar that died? Apparently, this was announced tragically via the 1 o'clock news, just kidding.
But the caterpillar died in its cocoon after a hard tedious journey through the vast bushes, eating everything green it came across. And then one day it knew life was going to end and it spun its own 'tomb' (cocoon). After a long dormant almost death-like experience, a beautiful butterfly emerged flying to soar the air, sharing the stage with likes of birds.

Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it.

George Halas

Can you apply that to your own life? What the caterpillar (you) thought was going to be the end of an ugly, treacherous life (filled with failures, let downs, mockery, mistrust, fill in all the scars in your life) in the bushes (your circumstances, unfulfilled expectations); was actually the beginning of transformation, the beginning of beauty in the midst of scars. Suffering has a way of molding us into the next phase of life. You have to go through tough stuff so as to get tougher.

Lessons to learn :
  • Learn from the past
Definition of Past: having existed or taken place in a period before the present 
Everything you go through in life helps in building a foundation for what tomorrow holds. You have to learn from the past. The past does not define who you are, nor does it dictate who you are meant to be. Don't live, don't dwell on or in the past. This will defeat the course of your journey.  Learn from your mistakes.  Take the strides you need to move away from the past. Let it be THE PAST.
This also means don't carry with you the grudges of yesterday, the let downs of ages ago, the broken expectations and promises of the past to today. Let them go.
  • Your present state says nothing about your future. 
 Definition of Present: now existing or in progress
This is where you are at in life. The present will be the best place to be if you are not holding on to the past or are not trying to manipulate the future. It is what you should be able to change. You can choose to live your present life differently. Don't let your present circumstances and fears determine how you live. Take them as opportunities to greatness and not hurdles as they may seem. Use them as steps to actualizing your dreams.
If you answer the questions above, then the present will be one good place to be.
Remember that you make the choices and decisions that shape the future. You may not know what it holds, but everything you do now will have a trickle effect into what the future might hold. Do your best. Today do your best with what you have now.
Don't sit worrying about the future. Otherwise the present will pass you by like the wind.
  • Your future is out of your hands. Get used to that!
Definition of Future: expressive of time yet to come
The future is molded by your present. It is a reflection of your past and present culminated into one. Very unpredictable.
Everyone would want to know their future if given a chance. The truth is your future is in God's hands.
You don't know whether you will be breathing in the next minute. It's not a given. People live all their lives for tomorrow when today is all that matters. NOW is the big picture.
What if you lived your life starting from the end (death) towards the beginning (birth)? Would you live differently?

Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 

Let's answer these questions honestly and we will start the journey of being ourselves.

Psalms 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

O the bliss of letting go - THE END

Thursday, January 12

Don't we all love endings in fairy tales, soap operas that we all hate to love and
the close of a chapter in life and opening of a new one, it may even be finishing a book or a chapter in the book you* are reading. Think of the merry graduations after years in the treacherous exam rooms. What a relief, right?

But don't talk about ending a relationship - some are over even before they began - but somehow we went through them. What's with saying goodbyes, you feel like the world should just let this moment not have to be. This friendship might be a bad one, it may be bringing more hurt than it does joy. Let it go. Just let it go. But oh, how complicated it gets.

Questions like why do I have to do it, why not them, just maybe it will be a mistake I'll regret (Remember No Regrets, just learn from the mistakes.). Maybe time will heal the hurt, maybe,please wait for it - they'll change (That's a big one.)

I hate maybes...

People never change in a day. It is a tedious process that requires first, a determination to change and God, God changes people.

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others. 

Benjamin Franklin

Ending a habit
The wise ones say you can form a habit after doing it six days in a row, it may be that you watch too much television, or you don't finish a book once you've started, or you never finish anything you start (this is a major one - you have to end this), or you never start doing anything you say, some people well I included, so let's say, people tend to talk more than they accomplish. We should spend more time doing.

...Remember "well done" is much better than "well said". Don't just talk about your potential dreams, visions and ideas. Step out now and determine to do them.

Myles Munroe, Releasing Your Potential

You may have a habit of getting angry quite fast, or the anger might be stemmed in the need to be perfect and therefore you don't feel you are adept at making errors. Someone points out a mistake, you run to the defensive like a dirty dog running from piped water.

I dread such endings in fact any stories I hear about endings better be the first lot, otherwise they are just that, stories.

They cease to be stories the day, I'm the one who needs to do the ending.

The day I need to let go.

The day I need to say goodbye.

The day I need to kick the bad habits off and start new ones that have a lasting effect.

I'm having cold feet right now, just shuddering at the thought.

Why me? Why now? Why? Why? Why?

Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to; all they need is one reason why they can. 

Willis Whitney

I have a reason why I can.

I don't want to hurt again.

I have many reasons in fact.

I deserve more.

I am tired of giving me second place. The question what about me is right sometimes ... I tend to feel people in the pain, I forget myself in the whole process.

Goodbyes give room to the new awkward HI.

Yes, there are other people I can befriend.

The TV will always be there, I just need to manage myself to read books and finish them, start assignments and see them come to fruition, or just start what I've always wanted to do.

I can do much more, much more than I've done. I've got so much potential. I've had many accomplishments, but there is much I can do. Only I need faith to start. That's where beginnings come...

What do you need to end, or who do you need to let go?

Disclaimer : You may just mean I. No undue pressure is intended or implied :-)


2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Broken Pieces of M-e, Pieced together

Wednesday, January 11

We are all broken beings, walking as pieces of ourselves.
Pieces that need to be pieced together again.

Our life is full of brokenness - broken relationships, broken promises, broken expectations. How can we live with that brokenness without becoming bitter and resentful except by returning again and again to God's faithful presence in our lives.
Henri Nouwen
 Pieces that need mending. Serious stitching.
Things fall apart, people fall apart.

Broken trust, broken hearts, broken desires
Are you broken today?

... Christ saw that men took life painfully. To some it was a weariness, to others failure, to many a tragedy, to all a struggle and a pain. How to carry this burden of life had been the whole world's problem. And here is Christ's solution: "Carry it as I do. Take life as I take it. Look at it from my point of view. Interpret it upon my principles. Take my yoke and learn of me, and you will find it easy. For my yoke is easy, sits right upon the shoulders, and therefore my burden is light.

... Henry Drummond (1851-1897), Pax Vobiscum

No regrets, no fear, no shame, and no anger

Monday, January 9

Simple definition of who I am. A quick intro, you would need to listen to 'Who Am I' by the group Casting Crowns. That pretty wraps up the intro session.

Not that I have no regrets, no fear, no shame, and no anger. I am human. It's quite human to portray any of these characteristics. Taunet Nelel, its a new beginning, new day, the sky is clear of any clouds and the long dark night is finally over. That's why I declare again no regrets, no fear, no shame, and no anger.

Don't you just love a new day? So much opportunity.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

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