Success is a journey, not a destination - Part 2

Success is more the process and not the end - product. No one arrives at a destination called success.

Success is really defined as the steps we take towards what we envision.

Why is it a process? If you attain a goal you had set, e.g. to read a book every 3 months; does that mean you are successful and that's the end of the quest? No, you were successful at attaining that particular goal. Along the way you may come to the realization that you need to apply the concepts you are learning, that is another goal. Hence, success is ongoing.

Success therefore takes time, it does not involve a "microwave solution", allow the process to have time and space for growth.

You define success in your own way. To define success you have to define it yourself. What would make you feel successful would not necessarily make another feel successfully.

You will also keep redefining success after every step.

Success is personal first, but it will impact many along the way. It will touch lives in ways more than one.

Remember : It starts with victory over self

Let's answer the questions in Part 1 of this post.

Desire

What drives you?

Your existence is evidence that this generation needs something that your life contains. You were created to solve a problem. Everything you have gone through in life, whether a high point or failure, has it's purpose in your life. What lessons did you learn from these experiences?

Remember : Too many people pitch camp at failure when it should just be a warning sign over what not to do!

If you had to think of life after your demise, which is a surety, how can you paint it? Would people notice that a gap has been left and needs to be filled? Or will it be a case of "Gone and forgotten"?

The drive is what will keep you, after everything is gone and nothing is left. If you leave with something today, ask yourself - what drives you?


Direction

Where are you now? Where do you want to go? How will you get there? Are you headed in the right direction?

You must have a sense of direction.

Where you are now denotes your current "location". What are your attitudes? What are your beliefs? Do they link to your expectations?

You're expectations have to line up with your attitudes and beliefs. You constantly have to work to change your attitudes and beliefs. What influences these two are your thoughts, and you can change your thoughts. Look at the input of the thoughts that you allow to enter your mind - who are your closest friends, what environment do you live in and how do you spend your free time?

Remember : Garbage in, Garbage out

Where you want to go, denotes your desired "destination". Does it seem too far off, if it does then get to work.

Determine how you will get there :

Setting SMARTER goals is what will distinguish the dreamers from the accomplishers.

A dreamer says "I want to be a good communicator". (This person may keep changing their words as its suits them, it is not SMARTER)

An accomplisher says "I want to be a good listener to my partner in Marriage before May 31st on our Wedding Anniversary. I will strive to let them finish sentences on their own and I will not interrupt them while they are speaking. I will maintain eye contact at all times and ensure that I ask reflective questions such as 'So are you saying you need a bit of help with the laundry tomorrow' just to make sure I understood what they were communicating."

To set goals such as the accomplisher did they have to be :

S  : Specific- Be very specific
M : Measurable- Can you analyze progress?
A  : Attainable- Can you attain it?
R  : Realistic- Be real with yourself
T   : Time - Bound- Have a time frame.
E  : Exciting- They must hold an element of excitement and thrill for you
R  : Recorded- Write down your goals.


Dedication

This is how willing you are to pay the price for the success you seek. Sometimes, you will have to be mean with yourself, sometimes you'll endure pain to get what you seek, you will have to leave behind friends you thought were for life, you will have to expand your horizons, work more than you have ever worked, give time for your goals to work, adjust if need be and not to give up.

Remember : No one will push you.

Here you are on your own, change tact (gears) when you need to, look back only to derive lessons and push forward.


Discipline 

This is what will help you push forward. Realize that you are 99% responsible for the outcomes in your life. 1% is credited to excusiolitis - a disease where the sufferer makes excuses for their behavior.

Start taking responsibility. Instead of saying "It wasn't me" start saying "I was wrong". Trust me, it's easier than it sounds, just try it.

Remember : You can't lie to yourself.

Stop complaining about people and your circumstances. The economy has nothing to do with your success. You make it your business when you always talking about it. Stop talking and start acting.

Stop blaming other people and your circumstances. You realize when you are pointing a finger, all the other fingers are pointing at you.

Start small, think big BUT start now. They do say, "A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step." Take that step now, if you will always procrastinate, the best time you are waiting for will never come.

READ the Excerpt below NOW:

When I Become a Big Boy

This is like the little boy who says when I become a big boy, I will do this and this and I will be happy. And when he becomes a big boy he says, when I finish college and do this and this and I will be happy. And when he finishes college he says when I get my first job and do this and this I will be happy. And when he gets his first job he says when I get married and do this and this and then I will be happy. And when he gets married he says when the kids get out of school and I do this and this I will be I happy. And when the kids get out of school, he says when I retire and do this and this, I will be happy. And when he retires what does he see? He sees life has just gone by in front of his eyes. 

(Adapted from You Can Win (1998), Shiv Khera)

You are the driver of your life, are you ready to take charge. Then start NOW.

What lessons can you share from your journey?

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Read more »

Success is a journey, not a destination - Part 1

Have you ever thought about the intricacies of taking a journey? Well, I am sure you have journeyed at least once in life - whether by road, rail, water or air. I am also certain you have your reservations about the mode of transport. Maybe you have had a bad experience on the road, as a result you are fearful on the road. Maybe on your first time in a boat, thrilled as you were, the winds were so great - the boat unfortunately capsized. That was your first and last time in a boat until today. Back to the question - journey of life - let's imagine for the purpose of this post - that you are sitting at the driver seat, you are the captain of the ship or plane - that in your life you are the driver as well as the passenger.

We will attempt to derive the lessons from your journey of life.

Who is the driver?

Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In a car, there is just one driver, one person who controls the vehicle. Maybe there is a car that has two steering wheels, I don't know. Conventionally, there is normally one steering wheel, one break, one accelerator, one gear and one driver's seat.

In the journey of your life who steers the wheel, determines when you have to make an emergency brake, accelerates or decelerates and determines which gear is in force - is a question we must ask soberly?

In Kenya, we have a public transport mechanism popularly branded as a 'matatu' - a 14-seater vehicle with a driver and a conductor who collects the fare due to them and ensures that you alight at your designated stop.

 I've never known conductor is a valid English word. Had to cross-check its meaning : 


conductor :  a collector of fares in a public conveyance

Most times than not matatus are the only form of transport available to the general populous.

In the rush to reach a certain amount of gains per day, matatus are driven recklessly on the road. Most who notice this, are other drivers who don't understand the rush, avid passengers may be unsatisfied but because of the hurry they are in, they may let the offenses slide as long as they make it early to their destination. The careful passengers wish they were in control of the vehicle to drive better.

I have gone at great length to illustrate something. If you are in a badly driven vehicle, don't you wish you were the driver and you would do things better and be more safe-conscious. I wish I could give the reckless drivers my two cents of advice, to just slow down and think of the passengers they are entrusted with. If the vehicle were to be involved in a bad crash, wouldn't everyone be in danger and not just the driver. It is sad but most times, people rarely think about the consequences of their actions before engaging in wrong behavior.

M - Pics / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

To link this back to our post. You are the driver of your life. You are the passenger in the car of your life as well. It might sound paradoxical, but lets ask critically. Ultimately, who gets most hurt when you are driving the car of your life recklessly? Who is it that is hurt more? Even if you had other passengers as well, their safety is upon your hands. Drive well, and they will arrive well.

Driving badly in your life may manifest differently. You know yourself better, some things to look out for on the road of your life are : -

• Are you driving your car, or have you delegated that task (willingly or unwillingly)?  

• Are you on the right road? 

• Do you know where you are going?  

• Do you even know where you are? 

• Are you headed in the right direction? 

• Are you driving too fast you are not checking the signs on the road? 

• Is the fuel in your car empty or is it just enough to get you to the destination? 

• Have you stopped to ask for directions? Maybe you're lost, that is why the journey is taking longer than expected. 

• Where are the potholes on the road? To avoid them you need to know where they are.

• Are you complaining and blaming other drivers for your mistakes?

• Have you forgotten who is turning the steering wheel? 

These are just a few analogies in the road of your life. Hopefully you have been able to answer the question "who is the driver in the road of your life?"

I would love to read your insights on this post. Who holds the keys, who is the driver in the road of your life?

Read more »